Hello my sweet girl! I’m sure you can tell by the number of tears that you’ve wiped away that you are missed so very much! I miss everything about you…your smile, your laugh, your smell and I can still hear you asking “mom can I please help with dinner”. All of the little things that I once took for granted, I’d give anything to have now.
I know it’s beautiful up there, no more struggles or worries, no more sadness and you are in such good company. I know that my mom, the one you were affectionately named after, was waiting for you with open arms. I’m also very certain grandma and dad couldn’t wait to get to you two as they soon followed.
It’s not an hour of the day that goes by that I don’t think of you. I see so many things that remind me of you and that let’s me know that you are here with me. Constantly thinking about what type of life you would be living if you were still here. Would you be married with a family of your own? I feel in my heart that you would have pursued becoming a Veterinarian because you always showed compassion towards and had a great love for animals. I recall one morning waking up to soft “meows” coming from your room. You hesitantly admitted to having two small kittens in a box in the corner. You found them hiding on our porch but tried to hide them from me because you knew I didn’t care for animals. You told me your heart wouldn’t let you just leave them outside in the cold and you wanted to give them water and food. You were such a sweet girl, always so loving and kind.
Sometimes I get so consumed with wondering how things would be if you were still here that I get lost in the little signs that you send me. On my days of feeling complete emptiness and sorrow, are you the calm that passes through drying my tears? When I see anything that has “Tinkerbell”, is that your way of letting me know that you’re okay and making me smile? Are you tossing pennies from heaven to get my attention on those not so good days? Yes…I knew that was you and I want you to know that I see it, I feel your presence and I’m learning to embrace everything you send my way.
Your brother and sister misses you too and I want you to continue to guide them and walk with them on their day to day journey through life. I know that you are proud of how we all have grown and pushed through learning how to celebrate your life.
I wish that you were here to have met your baby brother, your two bonus brothers and the bonus dad you had always hoped for. You will always be that one piece missing from my puzzle of life.
Please give mom, both dads, and grandma big hugs from me and let them know that I can feel their presence.as well. I miss you dearly and will continue to be your voice. My heart still aches for you and I will always love you more than you know.