Holidays and special occasions were no longer the same after losing my daughter and I found myself mourning her death rather celebrating her life. My daughter was born on Valentine’s Day and passed on July 4th. Ironic…I know…being welcomed into this world on the holiday that signifies LOVE and losing her battle to depression on Independence day. Although she was only with us for 14 years and died tragically, those years were some of the best years of my life.
Shae was the sweetest, cutest, most loving little girl that you’d ever meet. She loved her family and was so affectionate always anxious to give hugs and kisses. She loved music and dancing and enjoyed good food just like her mama. Never would I have imagined that my daughter would start battling mental illness at the age of eight. Once we received her diagnosis of bipolar disorder, this in a way provided some sort of comfort because we now had a “name” to explain what my baby was going through.
It took a very long time to get to a point where I’ve decided to no longer be selfish in my grieving. It’s time that I put more energy and focus into all of the happiness and joy she brought into our lives so I’ve decided this year to try something a little different. In memory and in celebration of my daughter I will be adding a touch of Valentines Day decor throughout our home in a new tradition that I will begin for the entire month of February. I have never celebrated in this way since she’s been gone so I’m super excited.
I’ve come up with some cute ideas that I am in the process of completing and look forward to sharing this with you. I love “hearts” and my favorite color is pink so Valentine’s day was always super fun for me. Shae’s birthdays were always over the top so I know that she will be smiling down all around me.
Losing someone that you love changes you for an eternity. A huge piece of me is in heaven and I will never get that back. I realize that there will be heartache and I will have my moments throughout those special days but I feel as if this will lift my spirits a little so it’s definitely worth a try.
Death is hard on anyone and affects us all differently. If you are having a hard time coping with the loss of a loved one try to incorporate things that they loved to celebrate their life. Find a way to find a spark of happiness on birthdays, their angelversaries and holidays by remembering some of the special moments you had with them.
Try to bring some sort of solace to your life and don’t be afraid to try something new. Take baby steps, one celebration at a time, in hopes of bringing some normalcy back into your life. I know that Shae and my parents are in heaven and extremely proud of the steps I’m making and your loved ones will be extremely proud of you too.
This is me coping…this is me living.
Let the Celebration of Life Begin…cheers to less tears!