To be selfish is to lack consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. Most of us have been taught in our upbringing to be selfless rather than selfish.  In most cases I believe this to be true but at what cost? When do we get to a place of being tired of giving so much to others that there’s nothing left for ourselves.

In the past, I constantly went out of my way to be certain that those closest to me were okay in whatever they were needing.  I began to notice that when I fell on hard times that there were only a couple of people that I was able to depend on and were genuinely there for me.  That didn’t change my heart because even after continuously being done wrong I still did my best to do right by others.

My turning point was after losing my daughter. Being depressed and at my low definitely opened my eyes to the ways of many.  A lot of people were there for the moment but not during the times that my children and I needed them the most.  There was a handful of people that I could call on and that still stands true to this day.

I began to realize that if I put half of the energy into my life and my goals that I put into other people I’d be much better off.  I had to come to the realization that through it all, my happiness mattered. I remained true and selfless to my children and that will never change, but I had to learn to be selfish with others. Learning to create happiness for myself without caring what others thought was one of the best feelings ever.

As women, it’s normal to place our main focus on our children and family.  However, at some point we have to make a conscious decision to discover happiness for ourselves without feeling guilty.  Get to a place of understanding that it’s OK to sometimes be selfish.   We are responsible for our own happiness so let go of the guilt and do a little living just for you.

Have you been wanting to go back to work after being a housewife?  Have you been entertaining the thought of going back to school? Seen a new pair of shoes or bag that caught your eye?  Be selfless for a moment and go after what feels right. 

I will always be fully aware of my priorities and will never slack on my duties as a mother, wife or friend.  I will however take the time needed in caring for myself and I refuse to allow guilt to stand in the way of that. 

“Sometimes you have to be selfish to be selfless..”   I’m learning this more by the day and now realize that my loved ones and home are much better when I’m in a good space and taking care of me.