There is no time frame with grieving or healing, especially after suffering the loss of a child. It’s been almost 15 years since losing my daughter and I still haven’t completely healed and still grieve everyday.  (I just grieve differently now.)

You have to get to a place of preparing to eventually put your child’s things away.  Baby steps are fine as we all move at a different pace. The day to day reality of losing a child in itself is more than one should ever have to handle.  So why leave “things” the way they were to make it harder.

When you lose a parent you are orphaned, a spouse then you are widowed but there is yet a name for a parent that has lost a child.  Losing a child leaves you broken and lonely with no sense of closure.

It took awhile after losing my daughter, but I eventually began cleaning out her things .  I gave a lot to those closest to her. The rest I boxed up (which I still go through from time to time).  I kept her favorite red jacket tucked away in my closet and it is still hanging there to this day.  I gradually went in and painted her room, giving it a whole new look.

Our kids will always find a way to let us know they are around us.  I can recall the first Christmas after Shae passed we were pulling the tree out of its box to decorate.  Her last Christmas with us, she wore braided extensions in her hair, and one was in the box laid out under the tree. This provided heartache and a sense of comfort as well because that let me know she was with me.

Packing away the items in no way means you are forgetting your child because that will never happen. It’s just part of the process and we have to trust the process and go with it.